Thursday, March 02, 2006

Honeymoon with an abhorred angel...

I thought I hated him... hated every part of our rendezvous... every touch... I ran away from him... strangely enough, he must have loved me a lot... he stayed back... tried doing every bit to make me feel good... to comfort me... and to say "hey... here's something for you... i think u'll love it... now, please smile ? "... But,my budging - out of the question !

He mollycoddled me... he'd say "Don't cry... here's coffee... you love coffee ,right, little girl ? ... coffee in a million varieties.... you'll love it... come now...pick and choose ? " ... he'd say "There's soft jazz to give you company in every part of my world... I know it drives my sweetheart into a trance..." he'd show me streets with a million musicians playing to their heart's content... uninhibited... expressing every iota of imagination and...passion...

He'd show me a greenish blue ocean bordered by a line of mountains... he'd show me the blissful coexistence of the bright sun and a chilly but gentle wind... yes... I found it very cold when I initially set foot... now I can appreciate the beautiful interplay of moderate heat and the chilly cold Pacific winds...

He'd show me a million games I could learn..and play ... and led me to the pleasant realization that I was good at most of them... I felt happy with myself..but would still not smile...

He'd try and say "beauty exists in the world... have a look around you... if honesty and uprightness are the words for that in your directionary, have a look into the hearts of people in my world... pure, crystal clear... how can someone NOT be beautiful if they don't know what dirt is ? " As if I'd listen to him...I'd say "very good".. but don't ...DONT come near me...

he persisted... he'd show me the way to look at bonds I was already building which I wouldn't give any importance to... and bonds I was trying to keep, which were shredding me to pieces...but bonds which he feels will persist..."good-hearted idiot" , I complimented him.

He showed me people dancing with glee in his world... got me into dancing... and said "Go... you are an artist... let go of yourself... let grace rule...go ! " ... I listened to him... would be all smiles while dancing... but would come back home and say "thanks for everything... but that doesn't permit you to get any closer."

He showed me what financial independence means - the pain of being impecunious... and the pleasure of having a great bank balance , single-handedly achieved by one... he'd say " Off you go, Miss. Affluence... go splurge... which one would it be - cookies and cream.. or missisippi mud... or the icecream with walnuts on it ? ". I'd smile... happy in the realization that I was capable of this much and more... but I'd still say " Ok.thanks for saying such nice things... but stay where you are".

He knew my strength - teaching and mentoring people... and got me to teach a few kids... I saw him hiding while I was teaching kids... and feeling completely in control... and my quiet ,hot tears of joy every time a student said " She is the best..."... "Oh..that session was awesome..you are great..." ... "Your approach to the whole thing is fabulous... you are SO brilliant...! " ... "God bless you for making a difference to our lives..." ...

His persistence... the beauty of his world... the simplicity thereof... God, how will I ever be in a position to live far from it ? ...

written as I sit in a computer lab on campus... just having deposited my check... nescafe by my side... a tam song playing on my sexy headphones... a week well spent...a good weekend to look forward to ,with some of my best friends... and lots of dancing... and spanish classes and ...

and a smile on my face...

Dedicated to an angel in a small city on the West Coast of North America.

5 Comments:

Blogger Phippogriff said...

But what holds her back...guess unfinished parts would come soon...lovely start.

1:41 AM  
Blogger s! said...

hi there, how is LA treating you? i had no idea you blogged, but was glad to read your work.. will be back for more :-)

9:22 PM  
Blogger Vivek said...

uff... good flow of emotions there!

2:37 PM  
Blogger Ramjee said...

that was nice. but werent you holding something in wirting it?

2:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My My......That was a a good one :-) do not confuse me for the vivek who has posted earlier...this is vivek from PS and your orkut friend(I guess the latter part is more appropriate :-) )

12:18 AM  

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